Personality Flop!!

[Lucia Blue Star]

Have there been days or weeks were you feel like your not yourself then you snap back like a rubber band?
I noticed when I started college I lost most of my happiness and I barley have any friends. And truth be told I feel kind of lonely. I'm out of the house a lot thanks to work and school, sometimes I don't get home till 11 or so and I'm constantly tired. My appetite is also effected, sometimes I eat to much or to little, now I'm getting to the point were I eat like a bar for breakfast and I don't eat for rest of the day. I'm always on the road too, it seems like I'm always doing something and I always tend to forget what I have done. I barley have time for my self too, I generally just have a shower and that's my "Me time". Am I burning myself out? I think I am, if you have any advice for me I'd be really happy ^_^ thanks for listening!!!

[Ryos]

Everyone reacts differently (some people draw energy from solitude, for example) but what you've described doesn't sound like a particularly sustainable lifestyle to me. Unfortunately, it sounds like you are pulling a long schedule thanks to school so I'm not sure what you really can do other than maybe request fewer hours at work until school ends?

[Lucia Blue Star]

Thanks ^_^ I'll try that

[Ivy]

This (http://www.mindtools.com/stress/Brn/BurnoutSelfTest.htm) is exactly like a test we took for my physical aspects of well-being class so if you're wondering if you're burned out... this is probably a good place to start. Just use "college" for places it states "work/career/job" that don't really seem relevant or applicable.

I've linked some (http://www.distance-education.org/Articles/Six-Strategies-for-Avoiding-College-Burnout-61.html) crappy (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/52343/follow_these_tips_to_avoid_a_college.html?cat=25) internet (http://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-Being-Burned-Out) articles (http://www.debtfreescholar.com/2010/01/recovering-from-college-burnout-10-tips/) that generally follow the same repetitive advice my professor and textbook gave and some go beyond. Hope they're of some help. It is true that college burnout is not something to just blow off. Everyone gets extremely stressed at some point, but burnout is the result that can really screw up your life if you just dismiss it and keep pushing it off. It is something you definitely need to attend to if you're experiencing it.

I don't know your living situation (living with parents, living by yourself, working to help pay for college, working to pay for personal non-necessities, working to pay for your bills, working to just save up money for the future...) so if you want to share that be it here, or through a private message, please don't hesitate to do so; it will provide a sort of scope as to what suggestions you can or can't do realistically, and thus how to better tackle the burnout.


Overall I'm not a fan of "internet doctoring" though. If you can make time (and you definitely should try, even if you have to skip a class for a day) and can afford to do it, see a doctor or go to the campus clinic or even a counselor. They can diagnose, help, and guide you more efficiently.

[fedaykin]

For what it's worth, I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago. I spent a miserable year at a University abroad, lost in a sea of faces, struggling to keep up with work in a language that I hadn't fully mastered yet and just generally being miserable. I enjoyed my following year much more, because (I think) I spent more time with people I liked and did regular exercise. It sounds easy, but I'm convinced that made me a lot happier. I was busy during the day, but would go for an early morning run every day (Ys OST playlist is godlike:) ), and whenever I had some dead time travelling, I would be texting and calling people just to chat. I especially find telling someone what a BACONBACONBACONBACON day you've had is therapeutic. We are social animals after all and I don't think most of us can handle prolonged solitude very well.

I also think improving my fitness and health made me more resistant to studying long hours in the 2 months leading up to final exams. In general I think physical stuff is important to feeling mentally well. Porridge is pretty amazing for keeping you feeling energetic (add honey, nuts and fruit of your choice for added healthy deliciousness) and eating 3 meals a day and getting a good night's sleep as often as possible is also unlikely to hurt. The positive side of working too hard is that at least you get to sleep easily, right? :)

Still I find even 9-5 hard work with a lunchbreak tiring, so getting home regularly at 11 sounds really tough. Is there any way you could take a break from work and focus on your studies/wellbeing at all? Hopefully requesting reduced working hours works out. I also hope you can do something you enjoy at the weekend, whether that's going somewhere with friends or just indulge in an epic lie in and a bit of gaming.

Anyway, I hope you find something that works for you Lucia. If all else fails, you could summon the world's magic to you and assume the power of Athena. Unfortunately you'd then have to deal with a load of angry mages and priests who suddenly have 0 mp.

To finish on a serious note, I would echo Ivy's advice to see a professional and tell them how you're feeling. While this random gamer dude from Europe is still in his pretentious armchair pyschologist mode, the fact that you let us know how you're doing, maybe means you want to talk. Perhaps you'd feel better explaining to someone face to face.

[Lucia Blue Star]

.Anyway, I hope you find something that works for you Lucia. If all else fails, you could summon the world's magic to you and assume the power of Athena. Unfortunately you'd then have to deal with a load of angry mages and priests who suddenly have 0 mp. .

Thanks you guys ^_^ and I LOVE that idea ^_<

[Zinf]

Based on the information given, you're setting yourself up for failure, and here's why. If you think it's hard to read, well...you picked the color, not me!

I noticed when I started college Was this only a month ago as-in you jusrt started? If so, then you still have time. I lost most of my happiness and I barley have any friends These feelings are red flags to both of us. Since you've recognized that you're down, maybe even miserable, you need to seek some change because the only change that may happen naturally is that your coursework will get A)harder, B)more time-consuming, or C)both.. And truth be told I feel kind of lonely You don't have to share this, just consider. As said above, what is your living situation? If you live at home (ie commute), which it seems, I understand there may be reasons; however, understand that commuters do feel more disconnected since you meet a lot of people by simply living with or near them. Social psychological research supports this. That said, if you live at home, see if your school has a group for commuter students or something along those lines. Getting involved in any capacity lets you meet people. I can't say where or by what means you will meet your lifelong friends (work, lab partner, Greek life, guy who studies same hour as you at the library, etc.), but college is where you meet them.. I'm out of the house a lot thanks to work and school, sometimes I don't get home till 11 or so and I'm constantly tired This concerns me if you're a freshman or even sophomore. Some people cannot juggle athletics and coursework, let alone a job and coursework. If you have your work done by that hour, then you're in better shape and just haven't adjusted. If you begin studying at 11, then maybe you need to reevaluate your time management.. My appetite is also effected, sometimes I eat to much or to little, now I'm getting to the point were I eat like a bar for breakfast and I don't eat for rest of the day You included this detail because, again, you've recognized your demotivation. At this point, talking to someone is probably a good idea, as was already suggested. Since it sounds as though money is tight (I mean, isn't it for all students?), seek out a Psy.D at your school. They all have them; people just stigmatize visiting them.. I'm always on the road too, it seems like I'm always doing something and I always tend to forget what I have done. I barley have time for my self too Even if you only work part-time, that plus full time student does leave you with little time. Understand you're foregoing free time plus study time to work to pay for school. Some schools and graduate schools try to police students' working hours for a reason: there are only so many hours in a day. Are you going to spend them on studying, working, or YOURSELF? That's for you to decide. Where do your priorities lie?, I generally just have a shower and that's my "Me time". Am I burning myself out?
None of us can resolve your issue/provide clinical diagnoses over the net, but we can provide anecdotes. I had a friend once who could very well have written the post you did, and he's not in the land of the living anymore. He was having trouble, did not seek help, and made some very poor choices afterwards. All the best.

[Dust]

First off as Zinf said "None of us can resolve your issue/provide clinical diagnoses over the net". We really can't give you answers, but we can share our own personal experiences.

<I>Have there been days or weeks were you feel like your not yourself then you snap back like a rubber band?</i>
I dunno about the snap back like a rubber band part, but there were periods of time I felt the same way. It was when I ended up moving to California with my family from up in Wisconsin. I pretty much lost my job, my friends (well still I e-mail one of 'em), and pretty much had to start all over with my life. For a while there I was pretty depressed. Truth be told I still don't have many friends (really 0 close friends I can completely rely upon), and my job isn't what I'd ideally be doing but it gets me by and I feel lucky to have one. Not being able to drive due to my poor vision doesn't help things either, but I'm a lot better than I have been.

I don't know if it will work for you or not, but I do my best to appreciate what I do have and the little things that help get me through the day (be it talking with my fellow employees at work, or kicking back watching MLPfim on Saturdays (I need my uplifting cartoon for the week!)). Sounds like you need to try and take some more time for yourself. As others have said maybe try to cut back on work or school a bit if you can. Use your days off just for you, doing something you enjoy be it playing games or hanging out with us on the forums. Call up your family if you are on good terms with them and tell them how work/school is going how you feel etc. Sometimes just talking about it can help you feel a lot better.

If it is getting worse for you though like you said especially where it starts to effect your health (eating or sleeping) it could be a form of depression or something else. As the others said I'd also advise you to speak with the counselors at the school or the on-campus doctor. They'd be able to help you out way more than we ever could. Just remember we're just a bunch of crazy people who love Xseed and video games and are not doctors, though I hope we helped if just a little. In the end though you're really the only one who will know what's best for you. I hope you can find your answer and best of luck :)

[Lucia Blue Star]

Thanks for all the feedback ^^ I'm going to try and relax a little like you all told me too. Also I'm going to find firends at school (althogh I'm a little shy) and I'm going to express myself more. I'm going to work out my problems little by little till I have them all figured out. Eventualy I'm going to be my self again ^^ and the drive for what I want to do in life.

[Minneyar]

In my experience, the best way in college to meet people and make new friends was by joining a club. See if you can find a list of clubs, find a few of them that match your interests, and just show up for a meeting. They usually don't take much time, just a few hours a week at most, but you'll be able to meet people who have the same interests as you. If you decide you don't like them, you can just not show up for meetings any more.

[Lucia Blue Star]

I think you guys are right about some stuff, I'm sick!! It started with a sore throt and now I'm sick and I have to force my self out of bed to get things done!! I think I took on to much and now I'm paying for it... =(

[Sgt Phantomizer]

I know that based on your current circumstances, this might sound absurd, but take care of yourself first, neither your job nor your classes and/or career you are working towards will help you a whole lot if you are 6ft under.

Maybe a few vacation days off work will help?

Sorry for being so blunt, hope you don't find that offensive :)

[Ryos]

Just to supplement what Sgt said, there's a recent study that shows that working 12+ hour days lowers your lifespan. While I'm not sure what all time you're putting in between work and school, it's important to realize that if your body's already giving you hints that you're pushing too much, it'll just get worse down the road if you keep on that path.

[Dust]

Sorry to hear that. Get as much rest as you can and hope you get well soon.

[Lucia Blue Star]

Guess what? I'm all better!!!! *smiles and hugs all of you* I took all you guys's advice and I applyed it to my life and now I'm all happy again and I'm learning to take life one step at a time like I used too I'm soo happy and I love it!!! ^_^

[fedaykin]

Good stuff, Lucia. I doubt us random internet pyschologists really helped that much (you were the one who solved your own problems), but I'm glad you're feeling better.

[PringlesXD]

This all happened to me this week.
Somehow, though, I'm a lot happier today.

[Sgt Phantomizer]

Guess what? I'm all better!!!! *smiles and hugs all of you* I took all you guys's advice and I applyed it to my life and now I'm all happy again and I'm learning to take life one step at a time like I used too I'm soo happy and I love it!!! ^_^

Missed this, but i'm glad :)

[Dust]

Missed this, but i'm glad :)

Same here. Glad you're doing better Lucia and you as well Pringles.

[PringlesXD]

Thank you.

[LadyNeptune]

I sometimes feel like that. But I do get better eventually. Doesn't take me that long to do that.